Let's steady you. 🫧
The goal isn't to kill the feeling. It's to let it move through you without acting on it.
Breathe
In through the nose… long slow exhale. Follow the circle.
1Name it
- "This is my attachment system firing. It's a false alarm — not evidence that anything is wrong."
2Come back into your body
- Exhale longer than you inhale (in 4, out 6–8) for a minute.
- Cold water on your face or wrists, or hold something cold.
- Move — walk, stretch, shake out your arms for 60 seconds.
- 5-4-3-2-1: name 5 things you see, 4 you hear, 3 you can touch, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.
3Don't act for 20 minutes
- The urge to text almost always fades. "If I still want to send it in 20 minutes, I can decide then."
4Check the story against the facts
- What actually happened — just the facts? (Usually: a normal gap in contact.)
- Is there real evidence, or is this a feeling looking for proof?
- What would my most secure friend say about this exact moment?
5Ask what you need
- Turn toward yourself: "What do I need right now?" Getting up, water, air, a candle, different music. You are the one who can offer it.
